Total eclipse of my depression

Solar eclipse, depression, and how a skincare routine helps me to habit stack

I realize that some people probably do not want to read my ramblings, and just want a good TL:DR¹ for some links you may have missed. So I am starting with those and then going into this week’s “essay",” if you can even call it that, which is just a life update!

In case you missed my stories this week:

Britt does a good job of keeping my “This Week” highlights up to date if you would like to just read the stories! I promise this week to do a roundup of all of the links I have been posting.

Back In Stock:

1. Maple and Lark Organizers!!!

   

   I have all of the sizes. The large are great for Barbie and game storage. The medium is what I used for this picture and what fit in a tote perfectly. The small are great for little knick knacks, snacks or purse organization. A follower said they will fit 9 matchbox cars inside!

   I love these things so much. It makes sense why they constantly sell out. They restocked on Friday and you can get 10% off with my code “MYSISTER10", which automatically applies if you use the links in the caption or the links to their homepage. The medium bins (pictured above) have already sold out as I typed this newsletter. So make sure to sign up for re-stock notifications if they are out when you go to purchase.

   1. Yes, you have to pay shipping when you buy direct unless you spend $100. However, they are also cheaper on their website vs Amazon because they raise Amazon prices to account for the free shipping. So really, it ends up being a wash, especially with my discount. Plus, they had a lot of issues with counterfeits being sold on Amazon that were not up to the same quality AT ALL, so it is a safe bet to order through their website.

   2. Also, they are a small business. Please practice patience when waiting for them to be shipped, which right now can take up to 10 business days.

2. Dorsey Clemence Necklace

   

   Clemence Necklace + Ear Jackets

I did not understand why everyone was talking about

Megan Alida Strachan

‘s company Dorsey on Instagram. Any time I saw a story, someone was wearing a piece of Dorsey jewelry. Then I bought the Dorsey Clemence Necklace because of TIBAL and have loved it. I get it now. You get sparkly lab-grown white sapphires that have the look of diamonds, but not having to pay the price.

The Clemence necklace features a delicate strand of 15 0.50-carat round-cut lab-grown white sapphire stones bezel-set in 18-karat gold-coated sterling silver. Now I really want the smaller one to layer with it and the bracelet. Good thing my birthday is coming up!

A lot of the questions I get about this necklace:

• What size do you get?

  1. I bought the 17” necklace and bought this 3” extender on Amazon for a total of 20".” My neck is about 17” in circumference. Do you have a tape measure? Spend $3 and get two. I would buy a size that is 3” above your neck circumference to get the same look I have.

• Can you shower with it?

  1. They do not recommend it. However, I have showered with it plenty of times and it has not tarnished. I am starting to get better at taking off my necklaces now because I was getting neck irritation from the remnants of my tretinoin from my PM skincare routine building up on my necklace. So now I take off my necklaces to wash my face and do my skincare routine!

• I hate when the little jewels flip up on the necklace. Does this necklace do that?

  1. Yes. I do not know of a solution to this, except I do try to put my necklace on with the jewels facing upwards. That seems to help. I still get a lot of compliments on it - even if it is not right facing all the time!

3. Aire Bellatrix Sunglasses, $39

   

   Another TIBAl recommendation. I did not think I would look good in these, but tried them on during our first girls trip and could not believe how cute I looked. I always receive so many compliments any time I wear them! And, because it is a TIBAL recommendation, they are often out of stock because she has that effect on things that she likes. Plus, they are an incredible value at $39. I bought two pairs because I usually lose sunglasses.

What I cooked:

Half Baked Harvest’s White Chicken Chili - kind of

Monday: I went over to Britt’s and she made a vegetarian Home Chef meal and it was sooo good. I forgot how nice meal service deliveries are. Which made me poll the Homecoming channel for their favorites (you can see the responses) and decided to try Hungryroot. Review coming!

Tuesday: Basketball Practice night so James picked up Chipotle on the way home.

Wednesday: Breakfast for dinner! I really did not feel like making dinner and breakfast for dinner is always exciting.  Plus I had just seen this poem by Lyndsay Rush.

Thursday: The only true recipe I made this week was Half Baked Harvest’s White Chicken Chili. My changes were: Chicken Bone Broth (for extra protein),  I added in 1/2 cup of red lentils (protein and fiber) and let them boil before adding the cream cheese, added in a can of enchilada sauce, juice of 1 lime, and a bag of frozen corn to balance out the acidity. For leftovers, I added buffalo sauce and colby jack cheese. DELICIOUS.

Friday: I did not feel well, so I told James he was in charge of dinner. I picked up Donatos on the way home from basketball practice. I went to bed at 7:30 PM.

In the News:

2024 Total Eclipse. This is a big deal in Ohio because a big portion of the state will be able to see the eclipse in totality. I did not even realize this was happening until we received news that Rebecca’s school was cancelled on April 8th because of it. I bought these eclipse glasses (4 pack) at REI because I am not trying to mess around with blindness and fakes.However, I did some research and this manufacturer is a reputable source for glasses and has an Amazon shop.

Wow! I am newslettered out and have not even gotten to the week in links summary, yet. I guess this is why I need to do this as the week goes on instead of waiting until Sunday to compile. After 5 hours, I am going to end the links here. You can read on for my essay, though!

It’s been a long time…

(Shouldn’t have left you. Left you. Without a dope beat to step to. Step to.)²

I have started, deleted, and re-started this email 8 times already. It is a low stakes email, too. I have never been consistent with sending it regularly - let alone on Sundays. I think part of it has to do with wanting to include so much in this newsletter, but trying to keep it to what it is meant to be - a weekly roundup w/some sprinklings of my real life. But another part of it is recognizing that I failed to do something I said I would. Or that I should have been able to do.

I was just talking to my friend Savannah

Bought Obsessed

about this. Well, not this newsletter. But about depression. So many people in my life are lost in the wake of my depression because I have no motivation to see anyone or even leave my house. When I start to feel better or so lonely I can’t take it anymore, I feel guilty sending a text. So I don’t. Then I do not end up talking to someone for months at a time because I don’t want to acknowledge the guilt of a depression hibernation.

Seasonal depression and thin mints

I love to talk about my feelings with you. Because then I will get the reassurance I crave. That has been the cycle I have been feeding the past four years. I recognize this in myself right now - the need for instant dopamine highs and validation from external sources. Yet, part of the reason I am in this cycle is because I have not learned how to give myself these things without external sources.

I have 19 drafts of blogposts and newsletters saved. 28 voice memos. And thousands of ideas running around my head at all times. My productivity bank is always negative. And the checkbook never balances the commitments I make with the completions I execute.³

Without telling anyone my plans, I decided to take time off from any other commitments after my paid partnerships were done in December. No newsletters. No roundups (not that I ever did those either…). No blogposts. Just stories. Stories without overthinking and trying to be someone I am not. Stories without editorial photographs of my life. But with a lot of text and context.

I have been depressed since October - it is a tough season for me every year - grief, gloomy weather and the constant comparison traps the holidays bring. I stopped working my part time job in November and was thrust into the throes of holiday shopping, which is where I make 20% of my annual income. Not a great time for depression.

What else have I been doing with my time?

• I volunteered to be our Girl Scouts troop cookie leader. And I HAD NO IDEA how intense it would be. Lots of webinars. And of course me thinking of tons of ideas for Rebecca to sell a lot of cookies without reconciling the time it will take.

• Helping a friend through a dark and sad time in her life. Which, actually takes up a lot of time. Time I will not give myself credit for as how do you measure the productivity of being there for people you love and care about? We don’t. That is another whole issue.

• Reading. Yet somehow, just like the rest of my life, I have been starting and not finishing a lot of books.

  • I do this a lot. I love reading romance and fun books, but also love to read fiction and non-fiction that challenges my way of thinking or makes me pull up Wikipedia as I read to learn more. It takes forever to get through these books because I want to take notes and reflect. So I will move on to another easier read while in the middle of that book. The books are all very different from each other, so I never get too confused.

• Skincare routine

  • Hear me out. When everything feels impossible to finish or even start, I start with skincare. You can usually see the fruits of your labors the next day. And who does not feel an extra pep in their step with a glow on their skin?

    • This is how it goes for me:

      • Skincare routine at night, wake up, another skincare routine for morning

      • Then I started doing bodycare (lotions, scrubs, etc) at night. and then in the morning.

      • and then…

• Working out - I swear I cannot start working out regularly until I get a skincare routine down. I have to know that I can stick to something. To get over that guilt hurdle. Start out once a week. Then twice a week. Then just last week I worked out 4 times in one week!

• Getting my nutrients in - I feel like shit when I do not plan and eat right. I am not even saying that from a “food is medicine” stand point. I am saying that from a “ I inject Mounjaro into myself every week and if I slack on nutrition, I have to ‘puke and rally every morning.’ ”

• Cleaning. I can’t cook unless the kitchen is clean. And the kitchen isn’t clean because I am always cooking or prepping. It is an endless cycle worse than laundry, if you ask me.

All that to say, I am starting to feel more like myself. During an alcohol-fueled trip to Vegas in 2010, I was trying to give someone life advice. A feeble attempt at motivation, I slurred together “ Once you start, you start.” We all laughed because like, duh. But I think of that advice often. Drunk Sarah is just like Newton coming up with his first law of physics.⁴ I guess now I would change it to “Once you start (a skincare routine), you start.”

Hope you all have a great week!

1. Internet lingo for “Too Long; Didn’t Read” meaning — it was too long, didnt read - so I am giving a summary. A summary according to me, which is hardly a summary at all.

2. I cannot say “It’s been a long time” without thinking of this song. Ever. It is wild Alliyah has been gone for 22 years. And I still think of her multiple times a month.

3. WOW. Am I writer now? If only Mr. Priest ( My 10th and 11th grade English and drama teacher) could see me now.

4. An object at rest remains at rest, and an object in motion remains in motion at constant speed and in a straight line unless acted on by an unbalanced force. (NASA)