Too soon to wear a red sweater?

My reflections on the election, seasonal depression and how I am taking care of myself this winter

Did you notice how much everyone leaned into the blue and red colors this election? RIP me ever being able to use a red heart again.

I remember receiving a text from Missy after Hillary lost Florida: “It’s over.” My sibling and friend group chats were filled with grief. This felt different than the first presidential election I voted in, in which my candidate lost ( when George W. Bush beat John Kerry ). I was also a mom of a 2.5-year-old, and “my future children” had a face and a name.

I had to be at the airport at 5 AM the following day to fly to San Antonio for a customer advisory board meeting. I remember standing in line for Starbucks and having a pit in my stomach that felt like I would throw up. I saw someone else in line that I worked with, and we both glanced at each other, and I just knew. I knew she was feeling it, too. I needed to know that someone else was grieving. Seeing her and knowing she also had to “work through it” made me feel less alone. And gave me the “permission” I needed to do what I do best - compartmentalize.

That’s where I am today. I almost wish I had my old corporate job because, at least there, everyone was not expecting you to “make a statement.” People are sad. They want to hear from you. People are boasting. They want to hear from you. People are mad. They want you to be mad, too. People are happy. They don’t want to hear from you. It is hard to please everyone, including yourself.

“I come to you for shopping recommendations, not politics.” “If you have a platform, you should use it to educate everyone.” “You are too worried about money, so don’t speak up.” No one will say what I haven’t considered or criticized myself for. Somehow, everything feels too big while I am too small, but my guilt makes it feel like I am big enough and everything else is small enough to conquer. I can’t figure out how to reconcile these feelings.

I don’t think I have a solution, but I did tell myself this would be the first Christmas in six years (since my mom died in 2018) that I would try to be a happy version of myself and bring in some Christmas magic. I want to stay busy and involved and create some of the Christmas magic my mom was known for.

I will put up a tree this year and wrap presents. I will volunteer for our county’s Children’s Services gift drive, dedicate time to organizing and posting about their wishlists, organize a small business Secret Santa (info coming soon to sign up for this!) for our community, donate blood, and keep our virtual book club going. I want to do things that selfishly help me achieve my goal of enjoying a Christmas with my daughter while supporting the greater good.

Feeling “blue” and hopeless

I read the book Democracy in Retrograde this summer, co-authored by Emily Amick from Emily in Your Phone. I loved it. I expected it to be more partisan since she is a “demfluencer,” but it wasn't. The book explains how “politics” became a bad word while emphasizing that civic engagement starts in our communities. You will learn how the government works, how to set manageable goals for anything, and the importance of community when everything else seems hopeless. I can’t recommend this book enough, regardless of the outcomes of any election. I have already started re-reading it, and it will be our book choice for our virtual book club in January (I figured we could all use it then).

I also subscribed to Emily’s Substack, which is currently on sale! If you feel overwhelmed by the news, I highly recommend her Substack, especially the chat (community)! I appreciate her honesty while presenting information without participating in rage bait.

Self-care in the form of hobbies

Crochet

After my mom died, we were all stressed. Before I started my account, I was looking for something to help me get through the hospital stays and stays at my dad’s house. My mom was a woman with many hobbies and talents, mainly crocheting. Yet, she never taught us how to do it.¹ It made me sad how many unfinished projects she had, so I taught myself how to crochet using Youtube videos. ²

It ended up being so therapeutic for me. I have yet to finish a project, but doing something with my hands while watching TV or listening to a book was so helpful—almost like meditation. I was obsessed with it. I brought it to a work conference. I also brought it to the hospital when I needed to stay overnight with my dad, and a nurse helped me with my stitches.

The most helpful thing I learned when learning crochet was something I always forget - you don’t always need to be productive to accomplish something. I was constantly practicing but never making anything. Yet, the practice helped me find my rhythm—it helped my hands figure out how to move without watching continually. It becomes second nature, but only after giving yourself the space to practice without expectations. I remember thinking that even though my mom was gone, she was still helping me get through the challenging times.

Reading

I have always loved to read - I remember my favorite birthday present when I was younger was going to Walden Books and being able to get as many books as I could with $50. College and Grad School ruined reading for me, but I eventually found my love for it again after working at a call center. I mainly read historical fiction and non-fiction.A few years ago I started to read Romance for more escapism and it really helped me get back into reading. This year will be the most books I have read in a year since I started to track them on GoodReads.

I always overthink book reviews and often only review books in a way of - I like it - you should read it. I also struggle with making it as part of my job because I am afraid it will take the fun out of it for me. So far it hasn’t, but I am also not good at keeping my books up to date.

I ended up buying another Kindle to keep in my purse at all times, and I LOVE it. I had loved my Kindle Oasis for a long time, but accidentally left it on the plane and they no longer make it. I replaced with a Kindle PaperWhite. Then I bought a regular Kindle to keep in my purse at all times. I love how SMALL and light it is. And the battery is good for SO LONG. So if you do not have a Kindle, I am throwing my support behind the regular Kindle. And then, of course, buying the Page the Shop covers for it.

Puzzles

I have never liked puzzles. I found them overwhelming and frustrating. I remember thinking I could never try out for Road Rules or Big Brother because of how bad I was at puzzles. Turns out, I never really learned how to do them. I finally learned how to do them because Rebecca has always loved puzzles. Oh, there is a strategy to it. You work on little sections at a time until you progress to the big picture. Oh, like a metaphor for life?!

I bought a few puzzles from Puzzlefolk and they are SO cute. It is like clockwork; when it gets dark earlier, we start doing puzzles on our coffee table while watching TV together. I love how therapeutic sorting through the pieces can be and how rewarding it is when you finally can put together a section.

Also, Tomorrow, 11.12, Puzzlefolk puzzles will be 20% off in my Flagship. The holiday ones are so cute and would make a great gift. These puzzle sorters (More aesthetic version here) are essential. They allow you to sort the puzzle pieces and store them away. Sometimes I am tempted to get this puzzle board, but we really only puzzle during the winter. I love how it has built-in puzzle sorters and rotates.

Cooking

My kitchen is tiny. I have about two feet of counter space, and that is it. I think it’s why I don’t enjoy cooking as much as I used to, but any time I make a dinner, I remember how much of a stress relief it can be. I have loved What to Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking by

Caroline Chambers

. I had brunch with my friend, a mom of two boys under 2, and we both talked about how much we love this cookbook. The cookbook is put together for people who don’t feel like cooking -- it is organized by how long the meal will take. Plus, I love that she prioritizes using the least amount of dishes possible while making it. And teaches you how to “riff” if you don’t have all the ingredients. It is one of the best cookbooks that teaches the art of cooking - not just how to follow a recipe. If you do not have it, I cannot recommend it enough! I have also been a

Caroline Chambers

Substack subscriber for a few years now!

What are some of the ways you will be taking care of yourself through the next few months?

XX Sarah

1. I understand why, though. Crochet was her chance at peace and quiet, and while I am sure she loved spending time with us, as a mom of three - she didn’t get much time for herself. Crochet was her time for herself.

2. Daisy Farm Crafts was my favorite way to learn.