Rest, an engagement and a job loss

Re-introducing ourselves to our subscribers and sharing some exciting news

If you read this newsletter, you probably know us from our Instagram, My Sister Made Me Buy It. I (Sarah) created an Instagram “influencer” page in 2019 in an effort to connect with other people about grief¹ and talk about the things I loved that my sister (Missy) influenced me to buy. I remember being so proud of coming up with the name and the tagline “Sisters: The Original Influencers” - I mean it is no Kay Jewelers “Every kiss begins with K(ay)” ², but I do think it helped us gain some followers in the beginning.

What started out as a shopping/product reviews influencer account, turned into a place I turned to share my grief, anxiety, and happiness. While it is always been mainly me sharing in stories and answering DMs³, Missy and sometimes my brother or his wife made appearances. This is our family business, even if you mainly just see me. ⁴ I worked a full-time job until April of 2023 when I left the corporate world to work on our growing account and community. My sister, Missy, still popped on every now and then and helped behind the scenes (especially with fashion content - something I do not naturally enjoy).

I started this newsletter a couple of years ago in an homage to our family dinners - they raised me and turned me into the person I am today. Every Sunday, we would all gather at my parents house and my mom would make dinner and we would all laugh, cry, argue and talk about our lives. I want to get back to those roots and keep sharing. Different place setting, same vibes.

Sarah’s Plate

I have never been one for setting resolutions in January because I have always liked to set mini goals at the start of each month. However, I love seeing what other people are doing in January, while I rest. I take notes and think “hmm, I should start doing that too,” and add it to a list of things I want to reflect upon later. ⁵

I read A LOT in January. I accidentally took two trips to Mexico (one was planned far in advance, the last came together last minute). I started organizing my closet and laid all my clothes out on my bed. I also did that with my beauty closet and laid out everything I don’t use on my bed. And then I lost all motivation and have been sleeping in our guest bedroom all month because my decluttering trick turned into a bed pile. The good news? I have loved sleeping in our guest room. The room is darker, and I have been getting the best sleep because of it, which is even confirmed by my oura ring. I had one of the most restful months of my life. This is the best way to start off my 40th year of life.⁶

Big changes at My Sister Made Me Buy It HQ

Missy on her second day in the office | Missy's first day in the office looking annoyed because of my list I made for her "onboarding." Her words were " I don't think picking out pens and office supplies is first priority. She is lucky she did not get fired on her first day, honestly. We don't talk that way around here.

I don’t have everything figured out - especially when it comes to our newsletter - but you will be seeing Missy a lot more. We are still working out on what everything will look like going forward, but I am ecstatic to be able to work alongside her more often. Without further adieu…

Missy’s Plate

Wow, I cannot believe I get my own corner in our substack now. This is a big deal.

I’m so excited! I’m so…scared

Some weeks in life feel like a whirlwind, and then there are weeks that feel like an entire tornado tore through your life, rearranging everything. Recently, I had one of those weeks. Tuesday, I was engaged in sunny Mexico. By Friday, I was no longer employed. Cue Jessie Spano's iconic caffeine-driven meltdown from Saved by the Bell: "I'm so excited! I am so excited! {tears}... I am so... scared."

For those keeping score, that’s one notch on the “life is falling apart” scale and a second on the "life is coming together in the most surreal way" scale. It’s funny, isn’t it? How one moment can radiate a warmth you’ve been waiting for for years and the next moment can be so full of uncertainty?

What unfolded in those few days and this month, in general, feels like a shift I’ll be unpacking for a while. I mean, the last month of politics alone - WTF. Fear x 10, sadness, happiness, the unknown, the moments I wish my parents were here for, the moments I am glad they missed (good timing to skip out on Earth before Project 2025, Mom and Dad.)

The Engagement After 10 Years

First, the big and happy news. We’re engaged! After ten years of everything—laughter, fights about dishes, 24/7 caretaking for a sick parent, grief, joy, Europe with our best friends, road trips with family, and lazy Sundays in bed (and Saturdays too let’s be honest)—we’re officially doing this.

We both knew it was coming. At some point, when you've been with someone for a decade, the thought begins to feel inevitable rather than surprising. And yet, the moment itself was everything I didn’t expect.

Picture this: we are running late (I’m sorry, I’m working on it) to meet Sarah, James, and Rebecca for some pre-Michelin star dinner karaoke. He handed me a ring and told me he needed to lock it in for life —not in some grand, orchestrated moment, but in the quiet comfort of a place we both felt safe. Mexico is a place where we’ve both escaped the stress of our lives many times and the comfort of our cozy little room - perfect. Rebecca sang Taylor Swift Love Story on stage and dedicated it to us after some excited screams and big hugs (she’s Anders’ biggest fan girl.) I toasted the bar with an extra dirty gin martini and joined Anders on stage for a rendition of Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes. It wasn’t perfection in the glossy, Pinterest-inspired sense, but it was perfect for us.

Who cares that Anders isn’t looking at the camera? Look how great I look!

Missy, what about the ring? Before he passed, my dad handed me the diamond marquise ⁷ ring my mom was so proud of - a gift for their 35th anniversary. He told me she would want me to have it and he told me he wouldn’t be here for my wedding to contribute so this was their contribution. I was touched, I was gutted. I was honored, I was destroyed.

That ring is so special to me so I want to take my time finding the right setting and jeweler for it. In the fall, Anders and I ordered a lab-grown marquise, the same cut and carat of her ring, in a solitaire setting; a beautiful placeholder until I figure out how I want to reset my mom’s ring before our wedding. That placeholder is the engagement ring I wear every day now.

Losing My Job—and Strangely Feeling Okay

Now for the other part of this story—what should feel like devastating news. Just two days after that magical vacation proposal, I lost my job.

This wasn’t entirely unexpected. I had seen the signs, maybe even felt the beginning tremors months ago. But when the final call comes, the bottom still drops out of your world for a split second.

And here’s the weird thing. I wasn’t (that) upset. Okay, I will absolutely miss my library customers - I will miss my team - I will miss being creative; but I won’t miss the bureaucracy and the false sense of panic over a powerpoint deck. Maybe it’s because I’ve been burned out for what feels like forever, or maybe it’s because I’ve secretly been yearning for a reason to hit restart. If I’m being completely honest, I walked out of the building that day half-smiling to myself. It felt less like a door slamming shut and more like the universe saying, "You know you weren’t happy anyway."

Don’t get me wrong—there’s fear. Oh, there’s so much fear. How will I pay my bills? What’s next for me? But there’s also excitement. I’ve done the stable paycheck grind since before college. What if this is my chance to lean into something I really love, even if I don’t entirely know what that is yet?

I guess I feel lighter somehow, like the puzzle piece I didn’t know I needed had finally clicked into place. Luckily, I have the support of this account, our community, and some consulting side gigs to fall back on in the meantime - and for that I know I am very lucky.

Balance Between “Excited” and “Scared”

If you’re curious how I feel processing engagement euphoria and job loss panic at the exact same time, the answer is... I have no idea. There are moments where it feels like too much—a kaleidoscope of overwhelming emotions, spinning faster than I can keep up. I am so sad my parents are not here to be happy for our engagement, sad to not see my old team everyday, and sad that I have my mom’s diamond ring and that she’s not the one still wearing it while chiding me on how soon the save-the-dates need to be sent out. (P.S. I don’t have a date, a plan, or an idea of our wedding yet - sorry Mom.)

But isn’t that just life? The messy, beautiful duality of it? Joy and fear often arrive hand-in-hand, two sides of the same coin. It’s in these moments of tension where growth happens. One step forward. One step into the unknown. One step into hell. One step toward hope…maybe?

Lessons From the Longest January of All of Our Lives

If this experience has solidified anything for me, it’s this:

• Life rarely gives you just one thing at a time. It’s not one neat chapter closing while another opens. It’s messy. It’s overlapping plotlines that somehow make sense once you zoom out. It’s life handing you a job loss. It’s life handing you a loss, in general. It’s people trying to depress and intimidate you (cough, our government, cough) into submission. It is people trying to zap out every inch of hope you feel. But it’s all messy and we all just have to figure out our areas to prioritize and focus on when we are ready.

• Fear doesn’t negate joy. I am reminding myself it is okay to fear what’s next even as you celebrate good things happening. The two coexist. They build each other. Just because the world feels so ugly and hopeless a lot - it does not mean that there is no joy to be had. It just means there is work to be done. It just means we have to highlight our joy more - because it may just be what we, or someone else watching us, need to feel hopeful again.

More to come from both of us. As always, thank you for your support.

XX

Sarah AND Missy

1. Check out my substack on caregiving here.

2. It has been 20 years since I realized the ingenuity of this slogan and I still cannot get over how good it is.

3. DMs are one of my favorite parts of the job, and I contribute much of our success to my efforts to build relationships with our followers. I am proud of that.

4. Family First Always

5. I almost never reflect upon them later.

6. I turn 40 in March!

7. It is such a weird story. When my mom died we were all like “ what happened to her diamond ring?” It was not in her jewelry box. It was not in the drawer where she usually hid stuff. It was not in the piggy bank where she hid hundreds of dollars worth of 50 cent pieces and $2 bills. We looked everywhere. Could not find it. Then one night I (Sarah) had a dream that it was in her underwear drawer. I woke up in the middle of the night, searched the drawers - and there it was. WEIRD RIGHT?